


I'm Happy To

by KaCole



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Romance, The Princess Bride References, he's been trying to tell her, oblivious kathryn, she doesn't hear right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 16:00:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17707313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaCole/pseuds/KaCole
Summary: Chakotay has been telling Kathryn he loves her for a long time, but she's been hearing wrong.





	1. Coffee

**Author's Note:**

> This idea was sparked off when I saw a fic response to the prompt 'saying it without words' by @seema Thanks to @killermantee for the fast beta!

Kathryn's been on the go for hours, back and forth between the bridge, engineering and astrometrics, but there's no sign of the crisis with the Derabians letting up. She's just about to drag herself to the mess hall to grab coffee when Chakotay's comm message comes through.

“Bridge to Captain Janeway. The ambassador insists on speaking with you again, Captain.”

Kathryn groans, pulls a stray wisp of her hair back into her bun, and squares her shoulders. “On my way.”

When she arrives on the bridge, Chakotay hands her a steaming silver cup before she even sits down. “I thought you might need this before you deal with Ambassador Korrick.”

She lets the bitter aroma fill her lungs, and takes a much needed sip. She glances at Chakotay, their eyes meeting briefly. He must have used his own replicator rations. “Thank you. Thoughtful of you to do this.”

“I'm happy to,” he says softly, and then adds, a little louder, “We’d better not keep Korrick waiting.” He turns his eyes to Harry. “Mr Kim, open a channel.”


	2. I've Got This

“Take it easy, Kathryn. Get some rest. I've got this.”

“Take it easy yourself. We were both in those negotiations. You must be just as tired as I am.”

She must admit she is exhausted. But she's also the captain, and as such she should head to the bridge and check the ship’s status before going off duty.

Chakotay laughs. “You can barely keep your eyes open.”

“I'm fine—”

He catches her arm lightly. “Kathryn, go to bed.”

Her eyebrow shoots up in an involuntary reflex, at his closeness, at his instruction to go to bed— which she’s sure he doesn’t mean in anyway other than a friendly way— it all leaves her face a little flushed.

He removes his hand from her arm and backs up a little, as if the exact same thoughts about _going to bed_ were suddenly in his head too.

“I just meant, I can cover this for you.”

“You don't have to.”

“I'm happy to.”

She goes to bed.


	3. Flower

He brings her an orange rose. It's a kind, life affirming gesture after she's spent the night in sickbay because a stay blast from a Nestarite warship punched a hole through her quarters while she was asleep. The secondary shields kicked in and sealed the breach, of course, but not before the impact flung her across the room and left most of her belongings scattered in the aftermath of the hurricane.

“Report,” she half snaps, but mostly groans, as she tries to sit up.

He lays a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Relax. We dealt with the Nestarites while you were napping. We’re three light years clear of their space. I'll give you a full report in the morning.”

She relents, lying back, but grumbles, “I'd rather spend the night in my own bed.”

“I thought you would. If the doctor is happy to release you, I'll escort you back there.”

As she escapes sickbay, she takes the flower with her. The state her quarters are in she'll definitely need something to brighten them.

Chakotay hovers by the threshold as she steps inside.

Everything is repaired. Every last thing is back where it should be, right down to the picture of Mark and Molly. The shattered table has been replaced and her bed is neatly made.

She looks around, a little dazed, and sits heavily on her couch. “You did all this for me?”

“Couldn't leave you with a sore head _and_ a wrecked room.” He’s inside now, next to her. “Would you like something to eat? I can nip to the mess hall and grab something for you.”

Although she's grateful for the offer, she feels she’ll be imposing if she accepts. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I'm happy to,” he says.

She wonders what she's done to deserve a friend like Chakotay.


	4. Dinner

Kathryn promised Chakotay dinner, but she was delayed by a thorny problem in engineering. When he asked her if she wanted him to sort out their food, she nodded absently. She didn't expect _this_.

 “Chakotay, this looks wonderful.”

“I didn't think you'd feel like cooking.”

She laughs. “I never feel like cooking.”

“Kathryn,” he says, deadpan. “This is not news.”

She looks at the table before her, set with candles, wine, flowers. The lights are low and the smell of his step by step cooking, not the hasty one hit dish the replicator turns out, fills the room.  

“Chakotay, you didn't have to go to so much trouble.”

“It's no problem,” he says. “I'm happy to.”

He's smiling, and she wonders, vaguely, about his stock reply.

_I'm happy to._

He always seems happy to do these little things for her. Some of them not so little. But the meal is delicious, and their talk turns to updating the plasma injectors, and then to a nearby stellar nursery they might visit, so she doesn't have time to ponder the riddle for too long.


	5. Lumping Furniture

She fancies a change. She wants to move furniture around in her quarters, but she doesn’t think shifting the table and sofa on her own is the best idea. She could get a detail in to help, or even leave instructions and get them to do it while she's on duty. But that would be a frivolous use of personnel time. She needs to visualise it and see how will work, and besides, the thought of someone else in her personal space isn't quite comfortable. Chakotay is the only one who regularly comes in here. In fact, he has an eye for this kind of thing. Would he help her?

He doesn't miss a beat when she calls him up and asks.

“Of course,” he says. “I'll be right there.”

Together, they move the terminal and desk to the other side of the room.

Then they swap the positions of the dining table and couch.

She folds her arms. “It looks a little crowded like this.”

“Perhaps we could try the desk alongside the door and the couch over there?” They heave the couch up between them again and work their way back. After a good hour of shifting, Chakotay stops. “Kathryn, I'm not sure this is working.”

“You're right. I preferred it the way it was. I suppose Starfleet designers knew a thing or two after all.”

He just smiles and shakes his head, before helping her shift everything back exactly the way it had been.

When they are done, she sits on the sofa. “Drink?”

“Thanks.”

She pours him a glass of wine. “I'm sorry; I've taken up most of your evening. I hope you didn't have plans? I'm sure you didn't want to spend your free time lumping my furniture around.”

He just smiles. “No plans. Besides, I'm happy to.”

His eyes are rich and warm. What would she ever do without him?


	6. As You Wish

Kathryn is passing the junior officer’s quarters on deck five when she sees Neelix leaning against the bulkhead, holding his side.

“Neelix. Are you all right?”

“It's nothing, Captain. Just a little twinge.”

“You should get the doctor to look at you.”

He winces. “I promised Naomi I'd read to her tonight.”

Kathryn checks the time. “I have a few minutes. I can read to her. You get yourself to sickbay.”

“Are you sure, Captain?”

“Get going,” she says, laughing. “I can handle a bedtime story.”

Kathryn chimes the Wildman's door and goes inside. Naomi is already in bed.

“Neelix isn't feeling so well. He asked me to take his place tonight. Is that all right?”

“Of course, Captain.”                                     

“So, what are we reading?” She picks a book up from Naomi’s bed and turns it over. “The Princess Bride? What’s this about?”

Naomi grins. “It’s a story about fencing. Fighting. Torture. Poison. Hate. Revenge. Giants. Hunters. Bad people. Snakes. Spiders…”

“Sounds terrifying.”

“It also has good people. Beautiful ladies and handsome men. Chases. Escapes. Lies, truths, miracles. Oh, and Neelix’s favourite part. True love.”

Kathryn raises an eyebrow. “ _That's_ his favourite part?”

“Oh yes. Only, he says sometimes people can't see what's right under their noses.”

Kathryn finds the bookmark, and begins to read.

_“I didn’t excuse you, Farm Boy, Buttercup began. Westley stopped, turned back to her. I don’t like what you’re doing with Horse, she went on. I want him cleaned. Tonight. I want his hoofs varnished. Tonight. I want his tail plaited and his ears massaged. This very evening. I want his stables spotless. Now. I want him glistening, and if it takes you all night, it takes you all night._

_Westley said, As you wish.”_

 Kathryn pulls a face. “She's not very nice to him.”

“I know! And he always says that,” Naomi tells her. “As you wish.”

“Well I suppose it's a good answer under the circumstances,” Kathryn says thoughtfully.

They continue the story. Buttercup doesn't like the attention someone called the Countess is lavishing on Westley. Westley, apparently, loves Buttercup, but the foolish woman has been completely oblivious to the fact for years. Finally Buttercup asks Westley if he loves her.

_“Do I love you? My God, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches. I have lived my life with only the prayer that you might glance in my direction. I have not known a moment in years when the sight of you did not send my heart careening against my rib cage. I have not known a night when your visage did not accompany me to sleep. There has not been a morning when you did not flutter behind my waking eyelids. Is any of this getting through to you, Buttercup, or do you want me to go on?”_

_“Never stop.”_

_“There has not been—”_

_“If you’re teasing me, Westley, I’m just going to kill you.”_

_“How can you even dream I might be teasing?”_

_“Well, you haven’t once said you love me.”_

Kathryn looks up over the top of the book. The hairs prick up at the back of her neck.  
  
She reads on, but her voice begins to quiver. _“I love you. Okay? Want it louder? I love you. Spell it out, should I? I ell-oh-vee-ee why-oh-you. Want it backward?_

_You love I…”_

Kathryn falters. Her heart chokes. How _could_ she have been so blind?  
  
Naomi takes the book from her trembling hands. “You want me to finish, Captain?”

Kathryn nods, her mind reeling.

Naomi reads, _“I’ve been saying it so long, you just wouldn’t listen. Every time you said, ‘Farm Boy, do this’, you thought I was answering, ‘As you wish’, but that’s only because you were hearing wrong. ‘I love you’ was what it was, but you never heard.”_

Kathryn tingles from her head to her toes. Could it be? Her heart stops, and she's not sure it's ever going to start again unless she unravels this conundrum right now.  

She stands up. “Naomi, I have to go.”

#

Kathryn walks to Chakotay’s quarters. She walks, because it would be uncaptain-like to run, but her heart pounds so hard it's a wonder the doctor hasn't heard it from sickbay and come chasing her down the corridor with a hypospray full of beta blocker.

All the things Chakotay has done for her over the years. Bringing her coffee. Flowers. Cooking her meals. Sharing his last few bottles of Antarian cider. And before that, building her bath. _A bath._ All right, she'd let herself dream a little on New Earth, but once they got back to Voyager she felt like their relationship reset, and if he ever harboured romantic feelings for her he left them behind.

But did he? Did _she_?

She can’t say she has been unaware of his attractiveness as a man, and she knows they flirt at times. She thought it was a safe kind of game they were playing. But what if it's not?

Oh god. Now she can’t stop thinking of his dark eyes. His smile. His soft, soft voice. He once told her he would carry her burdens. He’s never stopped.

She chimes his door.

As he opens it, she glances past him. He has papers strewn across his desk, and a bag of something that looks like archaeological samples next to it. He is deliciously tousled in casual clothes, his hair a little mussy, his hands covered in dust. She’s never seen him like this. What else has she been missing about this kind and handsome man?

“I can come back if you're busy…”

“Not at all. Come in.” He wipes his hands on his pants and looks up at her. His eyes are warm and welcoming, even though he's obviously in the middle of something. He seems to be cataloguing pottery fragments.

She waves a hand. “I don't want to interfere with your project.”

He smiles that beguiling smile. “I'm hap—” he begins.

She steps close so abruptly he stops talking. He takes in a sharp breath, but can’t tear his eyes away from hers and she _knows_.

This thing between them has been there for so long it’s become like a vase her mother once owned. Young Kathryn walked past it on the dresser every day, never stopping to appreciate it and she certainly never took enough care. One day she ran past and smashed it to pieces. Only then did she see the vivid reds and oranges, like a winter sky, and the detailed texture in the glaze. Shattered into a million shards on the stone floor.

She isn't about to make the same mistake again. “You've been giving to me for so long,” she whispers. “It's time I gave something back.”

He smiles, almost shyly. But he doesn't step away. His eyes fix with hers. She moves a tentative hand towards him, and he leans closer, his breath quickening, his eyes curious and full of hope.  

She lifts her face up, her heart as fragile as that vase teetering on the edge of the dresser.

Sometimes a cup of coffee is just a cup of coffee. A flower is just a flower. And a bath is quite simply a convenience a craftsman builds for his friend to make her exile more comfortable.

And sometimes those things are _so much more_.

Chakotay steps closer, his eyes so honest and true they make her want to cry. “Kathryn,” he says softly, “you don't have to give anything back.”

The world shifts. A grain of sand in a universe of beaches. He's been telling her for so long, and now she hopes he will hear _her_ right.

She brings her lips closer to his. “I'm happy to.”

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments appreciated!!


End file.
